Category Archives: Website updates

Is it time for you to lose wait?

NOTE to readers:     There was an issue with the captcha for new commenters- If you were not previously permitted to leave a comment, I believe this has been fixed.  I apologize for any inconvenience or frustration this may have caused!

Is it time for you to lose wait?

I know I’ve made a lot of typos lately, but the one above isn’t actually one of them.

I heard a story the other day about a guy I’ll call Fred who was estranged from his family for several years.   When Fred learned that his mother, in her late 80’s was on her death bed he tried to make the arrangements to visit her. The arrangements including getting time off of work, and creating travel plans. Unfortunately, Fred didn’t get everything worked out in time and he never saw his mother again.

A couple of years later Fred learned that one of his siblings had passed away from a sudden illness. The person telling me the story reported that Fred was once again devastated as he had been when his mother passed. Although he had not had any contact with his sibling in 30 years, he said he regretted not having spent more time getting to know him when they were kids. Despite these two occurrences, Fred remained distant from the remainder of his family.

Even without seeing Fred, I can tell that, he the kind of person with a lot of wait. Too much wait. Fred is waiting to do things he thinks are important, until the wait is over because the opportunity passes. He just sits around feeling sad that his wait has kept him from really enjoying life as he should.

Our wait is personal. We all carry it differently from each other. Some of us, like Fred wait to let people in our lives know they are important to us. Some wait to start a project, finish a project or develop our talents. Others wait to start their career, get an education or acquire skills. And still others of us wait to change behaviors that are setting us up for consequences we hope we will never have to face.

Would you be willing to start a wait reduction program? What area(s) in your life are you waiting to take action on? What are you waiting to discover about your passion and let yourself move forward on? What holds you back? Are you allowing yourself to fall victim to the rewards of short term behaviors that satisfy your urges long enough to help you postpone the longer term successes?

I’d love to hear your comments and stories!

Where in the world is Mary?

Remember that part of Forest Gump where Forest just starts running? And he runs across the U.S with nothing to stop him. Then one day he just stops.

That’s kind of how I’m feeling right now. I started my blog in February and I’ve been running straight through without a miss, twice per week. And last Wednesday I just stopped.

I didn’t mean to stop. But I got really busy and the day got away from me. And today has been pretty much the same. And so I’ve stopped.

But like Forest, I hope it isn’t a permanent stop. And I don’t think it will be. Actually, I’m pretty sure it won’t be.

But I do realize I have to make some changes in my blogging schedule/format that I’ve been putting off.

  1. I’m probably going to change subscription services—hopefully this will be very automatic and require nothing from you. I’ve recently discovered that Feedblitz sometimes routes people to an “advertising” spot in between my blog email and the website. I hope this has not happened to you.
  2. I’m hoping to reroute the posts back to the website—this will require you to click on the email to go automatically back to the site- this will allow you to be able to comment more easily.  Comments create site traffic and this is what search engines look for-
  3. Those are the two big issues and I’ll give you plenty of instructions so it won’t be a hassle for you.


I love writing the blog. I love it more when I hear from people who let me know if it has any impact on you- whether it makes you happy to irritated—but at very least makes you think.

So in the meantime, if you have any comments or feedback, I’d love to hear from you—

I also haven’t really had time to work on growing my blog as I would have liked so I’m counting on readers who enjoy the posts to encourage others to subscribe. Please know that when you recommend someone I truly appreciate your effort.

Hopefully, I’ll be “back” soon.


Best…. And take good care-


Salt, Ebola and American Idol

For an audio version click on the link below:

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Ebola, Salt and American Idol


I remember when American Idol first premiered. It came down to Kelly Clarkson and Justin somebody. I’ve since forgotten his name because he didn’t win. I didn’t actually watch the show, but I had a couple of clients who were very invested in the outcome so I heard about it through them. Kelly Clarkson went on to continue making a name for herself. But since then, it seems like there have been about 112 American Idol winners, and a nearly equal amount from shows like The Voice, America’s Got Talent, Britain’s Got Talent, Rising Star and many more that I am not even aware of. And that is only the music category.

This post isn’t long enough to list the rest of areas where contestants duke it out to be the star. The implication is that, If we aren’t the star we just aren’t. We are nobody, insignificant. So if we don’t have musical talent, or can’t juggle live grenades while walking over a tightrope crossing a sea of alligators, then we try to work the best, be the best parent, daughter, husband, runner, and this list too, goes on and on.

Recently I was having a discussion with someone. She wanted to have a more personal relationship with God, but felt that she couldn’t because she wasn’t “Christian enough”. Translated, she couldn’t allow herself to communicate with God because she wasn’t willing to end up becoming an Ebola infected missionary in some forsaken land. And if she wasn’t going to be a star then she shouldn’t join the contest.

There is a little visual I like to create for people and have done so in my office several times. In lieu of that opportunity, please try to follow along and create this scene in your head.

Take a packet of salt or a pour of a shaker, and make a pile on the table in whatever pattern it falls. Now look at the pile from the front and then from the top, each side and the back. Now look at the front again. In my experience of this exercise, I’ve learned a couple of things I’d like to illuminate for you now.

Every grain of salt is pretty much identical. So are we as people.

Some grains are more visible because they are on the outside perimeters. But every single one of the middle grains serves to push every one of the front grains into their visible spot. In other words, every one of them serves a purpose to create the entire picture. The front’s are only front because there is something behind them. The middles are only middles because something is in front and in back.


So what does salt have to do with Ebola?

Simply stated, you are as much the winner in the contest of life as anyone else is. Where you find yourself placed is only visible if the person looking happens to be standing at the right angle. But even when one person can’t see you, those around you do. You are never insignificant, even when you feel like you have the choice to pretend you are. And while some grains may be slightly smaller, larger, lighter or darker, those differences are too tiny to rule out the value of your contribution.

Take a good look at yourself. Is everyone else really smarter, prettier, taller, richer and whatever “er” you are judging? Or are they better at self- promotion or creating the illusion that they got to the front of the pile without the help of so many other people standing behind them? If you are going to consider all of your flaws, please take use an equal measuring stick for others as well. And at the same time, when you see their greatness, make sure that the lens used to capture your own strengths is not scratched as well.


I’d love to hear your comments. Thanks for stopping by. You can also share this with the social media buttons below.


a drum roll please

Hello Readers–

No you are not confused… this is an off schedule post because I have a little news:

If all goes well, all future blogs will contain the option to “listen” to me read the blog, as well as, the current format in which you can read it yourself.  So for those of you who feel crunched for time, you will be able to click on the screen and have it read to you.

In addition to the regular posts (and I have some fun ones waiting to be published), I am working on a series of e- mini books.  If you heard of the Australian public service commercial called Dumb Ways to Die, it inspired me to write “Dumb Ways to Live”.

The final versions may or may not end up like the one’s I’ve begun and that are in my head, but right now there are 4 books in progress.

1) Dumb Ways to live

2) Dumb ways to screw up your marriage

3) Dumb ways to raise kids

4) Dumb ways to wreck your career

so…. stay tuned!

One of these will become free to subscribers as your “bonus”.

I also want to say thank you again for everyone who reads, and also for your great comments and feedback.  The heavens have lined up and this week I have received some incredibly kind and wonderful feedback.   I want this project to grow… so I hope you will pass it on and encourage others to subscribe.


My favorite stories

I just added some of my favorite stories like Eleven, Blind Men and the Elephant and The Starfish story to the Support Header on this site. These are stories I often refer to during the course of therapy. Now you don’t have to search for them or rely on my inept paraphrasing– they are right here for you whenever you want them.